2008 July « The Universe According to Alexander Madness

Pokémon, the pop culture icon that has captured the mind and hearts of millions, has a secret. The secret is more ghastly, more diabolical, and has yet to be revealed to the masses. I’ve received thousands of emails and letters asking me what I thought about this plague upon humanity. Since the television series debut in 1997, Pokémon has racked up millions in its fan base. But what are these “fans” really? Are they fanatics on the verge of violence, or innocent people swept up by the temptation of the devil?

The history of Pokémon goes back to when Satan was cast from heaven, Pokémon being the name of those who followed him. Betraying an unknowing Christian faith, the Catholics brought Pokémon to America for profit and immortality, having sold their souls to Satan for eternal life. Catholics are also directly responsible for Christian music and so called “wangsters” or “want to be gangsters.” I can easily prove that these Catholic demons have been involved in every major tragedy, from the fall of Adam and Eve, to the events on September 11^th.

The Pokémon’s actions and characters cause the world’s youth to think for themselves, outside the box, so they soon forget their harsh reality. For example, Ash Ketchum, the games main character, is a Goth. Ash is a young, slender, black haired boy with a lot of anger and frustration toward our wonderful republican government. Ash usually drinks “potions,” in other words, alcohol to regain health and stamina. Pokémon teaches our kids violent mannerisms such as; arson, poisoning, rape, alcoholism, and torture. Let me explain exactly what Satan is trying to teach the youth with the Pokémon videogames. The games teach children how to summon their own Pokémon, once they’ve acquired their demon they are taught to use its occult powers to murder, torture, or enslave entire ethnicities. As you commit the heinous hate crimes, you are encouraged to chant, “Cultus diabolus,” or “worship Satan.” In certain versions of the game, you can choose your gender; both have a unique satanic role in the world of Pokémon. A male’s task, for example, is to conquer, enslave, or eliminate all who do not fit into your perfect race. If you choose the female, your mission will be to have all the unprotected premarital sex you can. Both genders have abortion missions, but they are all in the same cliché hack and slash chainsaw manner. . When they aren’t committing genocide or aborting babies, the game teaches you how to become a god. If I’m not incorrect, the term is “sinus deus,” which in Latin means “pocket god.” These are only some of the tricks Satan uses attempts to corrupt the world’s youth.

The demons have been proven to have caused man of the world’s diseases. AIDS was carried in the Pokémon, mankey, and quickly moved from there, into a cultist during a sexual ceremony. Skin cancer and global warming are both the fault of Pokémon too. The reason for many of the earth’s disasters, such as; earthquakes, forest fires, tornados, hurricanes, and illegal immigration, Pokémon leave only destruction behind them.

Pokémon appeals to ever satanic race. The Asians love how cutesy the demons are, the beaners love the prostitute female characters, and the blacks love the Pokémon rap. Speaking of the Pokémon rap, if you play it backwards you’ll hear a conversation concerning ashes soul in return for a Pikachu, but unless you speak in tongues you won’t understand it. According to statistics, 99.99% of beaners worship Satan and his followers. The Pokémon also appeals to all sorts of communities, for example, the fags, according to scientists, love Pokémon as their name is derived from an ancient pagan language. Meaning “pocket Monsters” it is well known that queers love pocket monsters. While researching I found more signs pointing from Pokémon to Satan than expected.

In conclusion, if you are a white Jesus loving Christian, please help your Lord Jesus Christ eradicate the Pokémon threat. Pray that those heathens responsible spend eternity suffering in hell. If you do not help the lord, you will most likely lose your soul to Satan and become a minority. For more evidence on the evil that is Pokémon, see the following pictures.